Assuring One's Existence

The Source of Assurance

I recently encountered the idea of assuring one’s existence and have been fascinated to explore how this shows up in my own life — and may still be showing up. I share this in the hope that it might illuminate how you sense and honour your own being.

A note before I continue: this reflection comes from decades of seeking meaning and encountering the intelligence of Source (God, Universe, Spirit, Creation, the Divine Fred, insert your word here...) — a love and wisdom that holds all life. I was asked to consider whether the devotion, gratitude, and love I offer to Source arises purely from my heart, or if it is motivated by fear — fear of the unknown, abandonment, judgment, or of not existing at all.

Layers of Existence

In taking an honest self-inventory, I realized that there were moments of my 35-year spiritual journey, when I had been seeking assurance of existence through fear rather than from a settled knowing. This sparked a deeper exploration: what does it truly mean to feel that I exist — not just biologically, not just socially, but spiritually?

Assuring one’s existence unfolds in layers:

Biological existence

Simply being alive — meeting the body’s needs, staying healthy, surviving, and reproducing.

Inner existence

Being aware of yourself as a steady “I,” trusting that you are real and present, and feeling whole rather than pulled apart or scattered.

Social existence

Being seen, recognized, and acknowledged by others. Our existence feels reinforced when others bear witness to it, yet it can still be fleeting.

Spiritual existence

The deepest layer, where Being is rooted in Source:

– Your life is not an accident, but a deliberate act of Source.

– You are created with intrinsic worth, carrying the imprint of the Divine.

– Life is entrusted to you to care for and honour.

– Even if the world forgets you, Source knows and sustains you.

The Paradox of Assuring Existence

On my path, I have discovered that I am closest to truth when I meet paradox. There is a paradox to true assurance: the deepest sense of being arises from letting go of the need to secure yourself. By entrusting myself to Source, I acknowledge that my existence is held at every moment. I no longer have to “prove” I exist — my being is sustained by divine love and intention.

Biological and social existence can be lost or overlooked; spiritual existence, when anchored in Source, is unshakable because it is not dependent on the world’s recognition or material life. A living relationship with Source transforms existence from something we must cling to into something eternally secure at the heart of the Divine.

Practices of Reflection

I have made it a daily practice to notice when my thoughts, feelings, and actions are aimed at proving that I exist. Some research revealed these questions that help me to reflect:

1. Seeking validation:

   – Do I rely on praise, approval, or recognition to feel real?

   – Do I watch others’ reactions to gauge my worth?

   – Do I feel invisible or anxious when not noticed?

   
   

2. Over-performing or showing up too loudly:

   – Do I exaggerate achievements or personality to prove I exist?

   – Do I stay constantly busy because stillness feels like fading away?

   – Do I try to be louder or more dramatic to avoid being overlooked?

   
   

3. People-pleasing or erasing myself:

   – Do I say yes to everything to avoid rejection?

   – Do I suppress my opinions or needs so as not to “rock the boat”?

   – Do I adopt others’ identities, styles, or beliefs to fit in?

   
   

4. Avoiding reflection:

   – Do I distract myself with noise, entertainment, or constant activity because being alone feels like a void?

   – Do I avoid silence, prayer, or meditation?

   
   

5. Unstable sense of self:

   – Do I shift roles, lifestyles, or beliefs rapidly, seeking to feel real?

   – Do I take on others’ ways without resonance?

   – Do I feel lost when a job, relationship, or community ends?

   
   

6. Fear of being forgotten:

   – Am I hoarding memories, objects, or digital proof of life?

   – Do I post excessively for recognition?

   – Do I become distressed if others forget me?

   – Do I worry that my life or contributions will be overlooked or forgotten?

   
   

7. Self-sabotage or withdrawal:

   – Do I avoid opportunities as a way of showing that “my existence makes a statement by absence”?

   – Do I isolate myself to test whether anyone notices or seeks me out?

   
   

8. Absence of spiritual devotion:

   – Do I over-intellectualize life, clinging to ideas or philosophies as a substitute for deeper grounding?

   – Do I treat spirituality as irrelevant, yet secretly feel anxious without a larger context?

   – Do I dismiss devotion while still seeking something to convince me that my life matters?

   
   

Returning to Source

These behaviours are often protective strategies — ways to cope with the fear of not mattering, not being seen, or even not being real. The invitation is to explore unshakeable trust in existence itself, held and known by Source, independent of anything external.

As a neurologically-based Somatic Spiritual Coach, I am assured in saying that we are wired to experience assurance of existence as our default. Oftentimes the journey unfolds as follows: When we notice restlessness or emptiness, we begin to reclaim life. From there, we can welcome stillness, rest, breath, and connection to nature, allowing our internal system to regulate. As this happens, we begin to move with intention and become more embodied.

Allowing Wholeness

Being present within ourselves allows us to drop masks and show up more authentically. This deepens our connection with others, helps us feel seen, and appreciate everyone's aliveness. Along the way, the desire to acknowledge Source often arises naturally, as the sense of being held and Real becomes more evident.

This is Allowing Wholeness — a place where choices are guided by alignment rather than fear, where actions flow from fullness rather than emptiness, and where existence feels assured, secure, and sustained by Source.